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Why do people always send us tips about vibrators? Could it have anything to do with the controversy over the ShePhonesupposedly designed by our editor Mia? Well, whatever the reason, these products do tend to come our way at regular intervals.

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The author left and a collection of eco-friendly sex toys. All photos by Chelsea White. There is nothing like ecological breakdown to kill a boner.

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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From local organic produce to energy-efficient appliances, progressive Americans are greening their lives one karma-enhancing product at a time -- and sex toys are no exception. Believe it or not, it wasn't always possible to swing by your well-lit neighborhood sex shop for a rechargeable, toxin-free vibrator. The San Francisco-based sex shop Good Vibrations just launched a specialty website for eco-friendly vibrators, which now account for roughly a quarter of its monthly sales.

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Lauren Singer is a zero-waste blogger based in New York City. Instead, she proudly displays it in a glass jar. Or are zero-wasters too busy for sex, what with all that recycling and making their own toothpaste?

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Standard dildos are made from flexible polyvinyl chloride, thermoplastic rubber, jelly, and more. This is a go-to choice for manufacturers because of cost, but also, because these materials produce a more realistic toy. I know because I called my local recycling plant one morning and had a short conversation with a sweet attendant who asked me to please not chuck my dildo in the recycling.

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Would you like for these two worlds to collide in a really slippery sustainably recyclable way? You are quite welcome. Many sex toys are made from phthalates, a cheap and easy to manufacture plastic that is porous and therefore can break down and potentially poison your vadge. How do you know if your toy has phthalates in it?

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Fondly remembering those crazy days of USB-powered-everything, I went digging for more alternative-powered sex toy hijinx. What I found was enough to make any geeky kinkster — especially an environmentalist — cream her panties. Yes, the folks at California Exotic bring frequent campers and granola-munching hippies a solar rechargeable vibrator.

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After learning about the teddy bear that doubles as a vibrator by the start-up company Teddy Love which is still seeking crowd fundingin case you're interestedI was curious to discover what other strange sex toys lurked in the murkier corners of the Internet. That teddy bear may taint your childhood, but I'm no longer convinced it's the oddest sex toy out there. I present to you nine of the weirdest sex accessories currently available online — and this is before we've even mentioned the entire range of Obama vibrators

Comments

  • Christian 20 days ago

    does anyone else put 9 towels in their butt and pretend to be ahri from league of legends?

  • Walter 25 days ago

    Boring as fuck. This dude is another version of Wesley Pipes talkin’ ass. Then dude always acting like he’s directing the scene and fucking at the same time. She had a phat ass no doubt but she can’t fuck. Her moans sounded fabricated on top of being annoying. This scene had so much potential. But it was whack as hell. Lmao! soft blowjob mpegs

  • Enrique 3 days ago

    With how much censorship Japan has (assuming that's where this is indeed from), I wish they'd come up with a way to ensure that none of their faces get censored from being close to the censored penis. Faces are key. Well, for me, mostly. Thanks for the upload.